


Stay Awake With Me

by Lifeinshambles



Category: Atrack on titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Death, Funeral, M/M, Oneshot, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17580830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifeinshambles/pseuds/Lifeinshambles
Summary: Eren found himself completely lost and alone, what will he do when his reason for living is gone?





	Stay Awake With Me

**Author's Note:**

> ..apologies I felt the need to give people feels..

It was raining, raining so hard Eren though it would come crashing through the roof of the cabin. It was particularly dark for being April, but Eren found it depressingly fitting. 

"Eren, it's time."

Mikasa's voice was quiet and Eren could hear the hesitancy and worrying in her voice as clear as the day was dark. She was talking as if she was walking on eggshells and Eren clearly knew why. 

"I'll be there in a second."

He didn't want to move. Didn't want to breath. He wondered if he closed his eyes and prayed for his heart to stop beating that some unknown force would grant him this one wish. 

Why did this have to happen?

Eren slowly stood up from his desk, turning to look at himself in the mirror as he checked his clothes for any wrinkles and quickly fixed his tie. He realized that black wasn't a good color for him. 

"Eren..." Mikasa was in the doorway again, her black dress slightly damp from the rain that started to fall. They all must be waiting for him. 

"I'm coming."

The walk to his front door made Erens heart drop with each step that he took. His mind was telling him to run away and maybe, just maybe if he ran away none of this would happened; as if fate would be they kind to him. 

What a childish thought. 

Opening the door he saw a bunch of familiar faces, all of them with the same look of despair. They all looked in edge as if they were waiting for him to break; to fall apart. 

He wanted to die. 

Taking a step foreword, he wanted under the black umbrella that Erwin offered him, and Eren reused to look up at his blue eyes, refusing to acknowledge the look of regret and sadness behind the commanders eyes. 

It was his fault.  
It should have been him.  
Not..

The walk to the service was quiet. Too quiet that Eren felt like he was going to lose his mind. Yet, if losing his mind meant that he never had to feel this kind of sorrow again he would gladly give up his sanity. 

It hurt too much.

Make it stop.

"God grant me eternity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference..."

The words ran deaf in erens ears, the priests voice being drowned out by the rain as Eren stared at the black casket with dull eyes. Looking at the casket made the aching in his chest almost unbearable and all Eren wanted to do was give up. 

No.  
No this isn't happening.  
Please.  
Make it stop.

"I welcome all who knew and loved the deceased to place a rose in the casket before it is laid to rest."

Eren suddenly felt the commanders hand on his shoulder, and when the brunette looked up to see the blonde reach forward to grab a rose.

A black rose.

The rose that was given to the widower to place on the casket.

Eren slowly grabbed the flower, fingers wrapping around the stem; throne feelings scare compared to the hurt in his chest. He took a step foreword, walking out from under the umbrella, feet sinking into the wet ground as he slowly placed the rise on top of the casket. 

"We thank all who came to bid Levi Ackerman-Jaeger their final goodbyes..."

He fell.

It was over.

What was the point of living when your only reason for living was no longer here. 

Collapsing to the ground, Eren finally let out a sob as his hands gripped at the casket; trying desperately to catch a breath. Tears streamed down his face as they mixed with the rain that was falling down on him and in this moment he just wanted to be there with Levi. 

He deserved to be.

Mikasa was the first to rush over, her hands gripping at his sleeves as he tried to help him back up, but Eren just shoved her away, Levi's name falling from his lips in between sobs.

"No...no please, God no..." his worlds broken, almost incoherent as he refused to let go of the casket,. His green eyes filled with unbelievable sadness as he tried to resist the urge to be buried with him. 

"Eren.. Eren honey you need to get up.." this time it was Hange, her tears clearly visible behind her glasses even though the rain was just as clear on her glasses. "I know it feels like the pains never going to go away... but Eren.. this is no way levi would have wanted you to live."

Eren shook his head, another sob escaping his lips as his grin on the caskets handle tightened. "Nothing matters anymore."

Hange let out a sad sigh, a hand resting against his shoulder. "You need to let him go."

He was drowning but alive, the sorrow and sadness was choking him yet he could still breath. All he wanted was for this all to end.

For him to end.

"God-... it hurt so much.. Hange he's gone.. I can't-" erens voice broke and he let his hands drop to the ground, fingers sinking into the mud and grass.

It was in that moment Eren knew life didn't matter anymore.

Life was meaningless.

Love had destroyed him.

Never again would Eren see the light of day, and no longer would his eyes shine like they did when Levi looked into them.

**Author's Note:**

> Again D: I’m sorryyy... not sorry.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed


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